Everyone has peers, people who are part of the same social group who are about the same age as yours with whom you share few similar interests, hobbies and experiences or people who are of the same community or group as yours and with whom you’re involved in the same activities with. The need or desire to fit in with to feel that you are a part of the group isn’t strange at all, it is entirely normal for one to feel that way and most people especially children or teens feel like that at times. Dealing with peer pressure can be challenging at times. It is extremely important for one to care for their preferences and to make decisions that suit them the best rather than making choices that one doesn’t want to make at all but have to, just because of peer pressure.
What is Peer pressure?
Although, one may not consider all their peers as friends those peers may influence them. The term ‘peer pressure’ means the influence that your ‘peers’ can have on you. Peer pressure and its influence can be both, positive or negative. Positive peer pressure helps you to do your best and pushes you to give your 100% whereas negative peer pressure can bring you down and makes it difficult for you to feel accepted. One may start feeling dissatisfied or disappointed with oneself or feel guilty for acting in a way that goes against their beliefs or values. Handling and coping well with peer pressure is all about getting the right balance between being yourself and fitting right in with your group like that. Usually, it is this negative aspect that one usually thinks of or associates with the term ‘peer pressure’.
strategies to deal with peer pressure
- Give attention to yourself and figure out how you feel, if something bothers you or the peer pressure directly or indirectly makes you change your personality know that the situation you’re in isn’t right for you at all. Deal with it before it gets you and breaks you down. Even if the people you’re surrounded with seem okay with what is going on with you, know that the situation isn’t right and you need to reach someone for help preferably an adult or experienced person.
- Learn to say ‘no’ without any excuse, it is okay to say ‘no’ without the need of giving an explanation or apologising over it. You don’t need to have a necessary reason to avoid a request which may make you uncomfortable or uneasy. You may give state your reason if it is really important but you must know that it isn’t a bad thing to not to take requests which may cause trouble for you or make you anxious.
- Discuss your problem with your friends or speak to the person who is pressuring you and let him or her know how it makes you feel or what bad effect it is having on you.
- Confide in with a trusted adult about your fears and problems or turn to your mentors, parents or seek a counsellor for better advice. A trusted elder can give you better advice on what to do or not, they can give you strategies to help you out of your situation or can give you such solutions that will sort out your problem easily.
- Surround yourself with people who value and respect your preferences, hobbies, beliefs and interests. Such people as friends will always stay true to you and you can share your thoughts remaining true to yourself without having to change your personality or likes to ‘fit in’. Such a friend group make you feel comfortable and confident.
Remember, you can not please everyone or get yourself to be liked by everyone. There will always be people with whom you cannot get along or who simply won’t accept you but that is never a problem. It is how life is, such people are always present and they too, may not fit with everybody or be liked by everyone. To get accepted or to accept is hard but you must give your best to get by that problem, despite what the results may be one should never get hurt by such petty situations and spend time with people who respect your decisions or opinions and won’t put unfair pressure or burden on you.
By – Habiba Zaidi
